


"SCREW YOU, OLD MAN."

by ThatAwkwardBastard



Series: One of The Brothers [3]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Diavolo shows up only at the end, Family Fluff, Gen, MC is a troll later in the story, No Romance, Paternal Lucifer, Platonic Relationships, Side characters are mentioned too, There are two curse words so there is your warning, but chats are between Lucifer and MC, other brothers are mentioned, text message format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29815338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatAwkwardBastard/pseuds/ThatAwkwardBastard
Summary: With regard to texting, MC and Lucifer's relationship started out professional, but over time, after living with six other demons who routinely messed with Lucifer, how could MC not do the same?This story shows MC and Lucifer's chats, and how they progressed from being sir and human to Dad and nuisance.~~~~~~This is story #3 in my collection of Obey Me! Short Stories called, "One of The Brothers." Each story is just a glimpse at MC's regular day life in the Devildom. The more time MC spends with the brothers, the more MC starts to become one of the brothers.With a lack of non-romantic Obey Me! stories to indulge in, this collection will hopefully provide entertainment for you "Found Family" trope lovers. This story is fairly PG-13. If you can play the game, you can read this.Hope you enjoy, and constructive criticism is welcome!
Series: One of The Brothers [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2146932
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	"SCREW YOU, OLD MAN."

**Author's Note:**

> This story is NOT romantic. This is my first time writing in chat format, so I hope you enjoy!

Chat With Lucifer:

~~~~~~~~~~

**Lucifer:** Come down stairs. Dinner is ready.

**MC:** Okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~

**MC:** Good evening, sir. I know it’s late, but I was wondering if I could quickly go to the convenience store right now? I need to make a copy for one of my assignments.

**Lucifer:** Why don’t you use the printer in our library? Do we not have ink?

**MC:** Please don’t tell Mammon I told you this, but he sold it…

**Lucifer:** I see. You may go, but take Satan with you. 

**MC:** Thank you. Please don’t tell Mammon, though.

~~~~~~~~~~

**Lucifer:** Are you the one who bought Leviathan that new game he wanted?

**MC:** No, of course not. I don’t have money lol. 

**Lucifer:** You won’t get in trouble.

**MC:** …

**MC:** Fine, I bought it. It was on sale, and I had coupons. How could I not buy it? I know he’s grounded, but I couldn’t help it. 

**Lucifer:** I’ll let it slide just this once. 

~~~~~~~~~~

**MC:** Lucifer, how do you feel about blondes?

**Lucifer:** No.

**MC:** No what?

**Lucifer:** I know what you’re doing, and I’m just letting you know now that I’m not interested.

**MC:** You don’t even know who I’m talking about. She’s really cute.

**Lucifer:** No.

**MC:** She works at Restaurante Six. She can get us coupons if you date her! Beel and I want free food.

**Lucifer:** Well, aren’t you forward? Why don’t you court her, then?

**MC:** She wants you. Plus, she’s not my type.

**Lucifer:** Ah, makes sense. My final verdict is: no. 

~~~~~~~~~~

**MC:** Please don’t tell Asmo I said that.

**Lucifer:** Said what?

**MC:** You know.

**Lucifer:** No, I do not know. I need you to say what exactly you want me to not say to him.

**MC:** Oh my God, you are a monster.

**Lucifer:** Hm, Asmodeus just knocked on my door. What lovely timing. 

**MC:** OKAY, I SAID ASMO HAS A GOOD BUTT, THERE. DON’T TELL HIM.

**Lucifer:** I don’t like your attitude, MC. 

**MC:** If you tell him, he’s going to be cocky for weeks. Do you really want to deal with that?

**Lucifer:** It sounds to me that it will be an issue that you will have to deal with, not me.

**MC:** I will do all of your chores this week. Please don’t say anything. 

**Lucifer:** What an attractive offer, but I’m not interested. 

**MC:** AHHHHHH. Okay. SCREW YOU, OLD MAN. I HOPE YOU GET STUCK IN A WALL. I’M TELLING DIAVOLO. 

**Lucifer:** MC, do not bother Diavolo or else I will tell Asmodeus. 

**MC:** TOO LATE, BASTARD. TOO LATE. 

~~~~~~~~~~

**Lucifer:** MC. You certainly left R.A.D. in a rush. Is there a reason?

**MC:** Uh. No, not really? I just want to get home and sleep, or something.

**Lucifer:** I see. Well, your teacher just handed me your paper. He informed me that you were supposed to pick it up after school.

**MC:** Frick. I knew I was forgetting something.

**Lucifer:** Yes, well, you’re lucky I was there at the right time.

**MC:** Sure, right time works. So, where are you? so I can come get it.

**Lucifer:** Don’t be ridiculous, I’ll bring it to you once I’m done discussing with Diavolo. I’ll be done in five minutes.

**MC:** AH, fine. I really want to see my grade already, so can you pretty please not flirt for long?

**Lucifer:** Excuse me?

**MC:** Oops, my D.D.D. autocorrected flex to flirt. Wasn’t me. 

**Lucifer:** I remember when you used to actually respect me. You used to be cute, when you’d refer to me as sir. What happened?

**MC:** Pardon me, _sir_ , but you see, I’m going through my edgy phase, so I’m rebelling against you since you’re the closest person I got to a

**Lucifer:** Closest person you got to a what?

**MC:** Never mind. I meant to say you’re the closest person. You just so happened to text me when the flippant urges flowed through me.

**Lucifer:** I understand, MC. I’m like your father figure. You could have just said that instead of lying. 

**MC:** ...You read my paper, didn’t you?

**Lucifer:** I do not know what you speak of, but I’m almost done with Diavolo. I shall see you in a while, MC. 

**MC:** Perish. 

~~~~~~~~~~

**MC:** Yo, Belphie ate my cupcakes, so I need you to ground him. Preferably torture him, but I’ll be sympathetic this time.

**Lucifer:** Do you have a better reason?

**MC:** What do you mean better reason?! That’s legit to me. I PUT A NOTE.

**Lucifer:** If you can find a legitimate reason, then I will. For now, just buy yourself new cupcakes. My wallet is in the kitchen. Take as much grimm as you need. 

**MC:** Thanks, Dad! I LOVE YOU!

**Lucifer:** Never mind, you can buy them yourself.

**MC:** Why are you such a bitch, Dad?

**MC:** Do you hear running?

**MC:** Why are you knocking on my door???

**MC:** WAIT, I’M SORRY. I TAKE IT BACK, YOU’RE NOT A BITCH. I’M SOR

~~~~~~~~~~

**MC:** Hey, are you with Grandpa? Can you ask Grunkle to send me his cookies?

**MC:** I know you’re reading my messages, DAD. PICK UP.

**Lucifer:** What ridiculous things are you saying? Who is your grandfather? Who is Grunkle?

**MC:** We’ve been over this before, bruh. Grandpa Diavolo and Grunkle Barbie! Get with the program.

**Lucifer:** First, you better not EVER call Diavolo that in public. Second, how dare you disrespect Barbatos with such a nickname? Third, you are grounded the moment I get home.

**MC:** That’s not fair, Diavolo said I could call him that. And Barbatos actually likes that nickname, so get wrecked. 

**Lucifer:** Why must you embarrass me at any opportunity? 

**MC:** Because that’s my job? And I’m bored? Also, don’t forget about my cookies.

**MC:** Lucifer? 

**MC:** Dad? 

**MC:** LUCI???

**Diavolo:** MC? 

**MC:** Yes?

**Diavolo:** Hello, MC! I’m using Lucifer’s D.D.D. right now. He seems to be upset right now, but I finally see why. Your relationship with him is quite endearing!

**MC:** Grandpa! Since HE won’t do it, can you send me cookies?? 

**Diavolo:** Of course I can; however, you may have to come to the castle to get them. Your father is irritated. 

**MC:** Ah, well, my job is complete then.

**Diavolo:** Your job?

**MC:** Satan and Belphie paid me to annoy him. Anyway, I’m coming over now! Do me a favor and call Lucifer your son. That’ll be the final cherry on top. Thanks! <3

**Diavolo:** You know Grandpa loves you, but I’m afraid I value my life. I’ll have Barbatos do it instead. 

**MC:** Works for me.

**MC:** Also, please delete these messages. I don't want to get grounded.

**Lucifer:** Too late.

**MC:** F.

~~~~~~~~~~

**Lucifer:** I just finished talking to all of your teachers.

**Lucifer:** I’m proud of you. 

**MC:** Thank you. Not just for the compliment, but for also helping me out whenever I needed help. 

**MC:** I know I’ve been a pain to you, but I really do appreciate you. You’re a good brother.

**Lucifer:** Yes, well, you are a nuisance. You’re still grounded for ruining Mammon’s credit card. You have embarrassed me more times than my brothers have in a decade. 

**Lucifer:** But I suppose I still love you, MC.

**Lucifer:** Now, would you come down stairs? Dinner is ready.

**MC:** Gotcha. And I guess I love you, too, Lucifer. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this story. The ending is kind of cheesy, but oh well lol. 
> 
> I wish there were more stories that interpreted Lucifer as a sort of father or older brother figure to MC, but, like, Obey Me! is a romance game, so I get it lol. If you'd like other stories in this format, let me know! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
